says,
* LIKE A TIDAL WAVE, marilyn rushes in. radiating a distinct warmth than from when they argue, when he picks to be difficult, when he isn’t SOBER. sharing a shell of intimacy which he yearns for ; hearts steadily lead him home. he counts the rhythm. ‘ ‘ … ’ ’ she continues when he doesn’t speak, justifying for his demons. to avoid conflict, he stays hushed. burnished hues watch the space between them close, as knees touch, fingers interlock. spiritually fading out with now red, swollen eyes. robert doesn’t want to cry … he ISN’T crying. as his wife, she swears he’s a good man, which he is, behind white noise. here, she loves the man he WAS, wanting to love the man he COULD be. yet change ; to change for her, for their daughter, was laborious. veering his person, an arm hugs to her frame, hands at her collar, anchoring her forehead to his. eyelids are fixed, mouth agape with no words. she’s intelligent, she knows . he wants to APOLOGIZE but can’t, she knows . she draws that smile he fell in love with. they kiss, a sacred kiss, forbidden to feel the rush of love all at once. what would he do WITHOUT her ? what would he do if she ended up * hating him to his grave for never changing ?
‘ ‘ … i love you. ’ ’ three forbidden words for a very forbidden moment.
says,
‘ ‘ suit yourself, cry baby. you’re too innocent, yet you’re getting older. didn’t i make it clear ? there’s no sentimental anything here, in this. we’ve both got a short burning blade, it’s easier to unconsciously make decisions. ’ ’ * ANTIPATHY IS MANIFESTED. nostrils seethed. there’s a calescent mean in his abdomen, depleting the very existence that was the patient of his persona.
‘ ‘ … you’re an object anyway. ’ ’
says,
* A MAN WHOM IS BORNE MONEY HUNGRY, IS PRIDEFUL . a fool for sacrifice. WITH THY HANDS SO BLOODSTAINED, TASTES LIKE HONEY. too hard to leave. instilled within the hollow of his bust is heavier than guilt, than the anxiety which erodes him ALIVE. sheets suffocate, ghosts, no, DEMONS bedeviling him cleave the vessel seam by seam, limb for limb, to his essence. pearl white are their teeth, temporarily, then peppered with the blood of his rotting flesh. robert HOWLS, wants to shoot them away, but these corridors only echo & groan. YOU’RE SCARING ME … how they are mean . by dawn, he feels colder, awoken in a foul sweat. aquatinted with these villains, they insinuate. nineteen * the acts of flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; twenty * idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, SELFISH AMBITION. his teeth grit, knucks white from a hermetic clamp on adjacent sides of the bathroom sink. there’s no longer A MAN in this reflection … no longer a LIVING MAN.
says,
‘ ‘ jesus ! … you’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days. ’ ’ IS RESPIRED. brows knit as obsidian eyes droop. ‘ ‘ didn’t i ask you to stay home ? ’ ’
says,
‘ ‘ jesus, MARY … ’ ’ AS THE BALLAST, they come to terms. together, she is sheltered & so is he. when her golden optics fluctuate, ripple, bloat , she’s seeking the shelter that is HE. robert greets her with the fervency of physical contact ; a body that carries the same ENCUMBRANCE. she’s inundating with anxiety but he hushes her. an inaudible hum, corresponded appendages brush through fawn locks, tucking strands behind her ear. he always let mary in, they both met as equals in presence after all. a smile draws, hurt yet INSPIRITED.
‘ ‘ when did ya’ get so soft … ’ ’ exhale. ‘ ‘ … never leave me. ’ ’
says,
solarborne. // [ coat ] + [ tears ] reversed.
‘ ‘ … ’ ’ SKIN IS VARNISHED PALE. animate organs reverberated erratically as he tired to mull hastily. there was no leeway for bullshit or to fabricate a lie. GRIEF was a mutual feeling ; in addition to sobs which transpired in a spur. star pivoted & collapsed into his arms, shedding her coat. the dew of tears are soaked up into the cloth of his long ━ sleeve … he had to do laundry ultimately. timid paws blanket her ethereal frame with softhearted strokes. for a second he thinks of VAL ━━━ & the first time she came home wearing a HEARTACHE ; third grade, the boy wouldn’t share his damn animal crackers. limbs are taut, a breath is drawled before speaking.
‘ ‘ … i get the whole ‘ HE’S THE ONLY GUY I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH ‘ part … it’s hard to let go, hard to move on to someone else & think you’ll never find anyone with such characteristics or chemistry like you two had, but i PROMISE ━ trust me on this ━ … promise you once you let go & move on, you’ll find out that, deep down, the only feelings you have for him might be just the fact that you’ll ALWAYS love him. you’re scared to move on without him, i know … but it’s going to be okay ; you’ll never end up like me, that’s a plus ? ’ ’
says,
afathersduty. // [ lit ].
‘ ‘ … i’ve got hands, you know. ’ ’ IS SAID MATTER ━ OF ━ FACTLY. scarred digits scramble with an embittered growl. FUCK. surrendering to the lack of motor skills, robert heaved it. further there’s no fuss but an array of grunts. brows tic & he creases arms over his chest. there’s TOO much of an acquainted stillness before dresdaen gets the memo, to which he promptly aids to it. the cubeb is then lit & he’s ALIVE again.
‘ ‘ … ’ ’ ‘ ‘ thanks. ’ ’